Reaching your 80s is about more than just a number on a birthday card. This stage of life brings not only accumulated knowledge also triggers a fundamental shift in how we view our relationships and our place in the world. Most people at this stage aren’t just counting the years they’ve survived; they are looking backward and forward at the same time, trying to assess whether those years were—and continue to be—fulfilling. It is a period where the “quantity” of life often takes a backseat to the “quality” of the daily experience.
One thing that is quite remarkable about this period in one’s life is that aging can differ considerably from person to person. You see it everywhere: Some individuals will still be considered “young” at 85 years old, being physically fit, travelling, and serving as the centre of attention in their communities. On the other hand, there may also be individuals who, because of poor physical health, the passing of their partners, or other environmental reasons, become more introverted. The scientific consensus is virtually unanimous in stating that there is no “silver bullet” or magic gene that explains all these differences.
The sense of purpose
The most important influence guiding our way through this decade would be the sense of purpose. Purpose in life comes to us very easily, almost effortlessly, throughout most of our adult lives. We are who we are by virtue of what we are expected to be; we become managers, parents, providers. What happens when these aspects no longer exist? What happens after the structure of our career leaves us? Without a purpose, everything becomes ambiguous because there is nothing that we have to wake up for.
The science on this is pretty solid. A major longitudinal study in Psychological Science found that people with a strong sense of purpose tended to live longer. The most intriguing part of this study was that the effect remained valid regardless of other variables such as whether an individual was retired and their emotional state. In other words, having something worth waking up for not only made them feel “happy” but also had a physical impact on their lifespan.
Purpose does not need to be related to something great or something that will change the whole world in the conventional sense of the word. This doesn’t imply that one needs to start a venture or even write a book at 82 years old (some individuals actually do). Instead, purpose could be linked to a hobby such as gardening, walking every day, or doing good for others, such as voluntary work or helping with grandkids. Most importantly, it is about having a purpose.
This concept is the very foundation of the philosophy known as Ikigai, which means “reason for being” in Japanese. People who practice this lifestyle are well known in places like Okinawa, where longevity is well documented. It is indeed a philosophy, but clinical studies have shown that people who identify themselves as followers of ikigai tend to sleep better and experience fewer medical complications. When one’s brain perceives purpose, the body often responds positively.
Social connections
Whereas internal purpose serves as the engine, socialization serves as its fuel. There is an idea that one should have less social interaction as one gets older because one “mellows.” The reality is quite the opposite. Humans are social beings, and age does not alter that fact.
In addition, there are several ways in which the negative effects of lack of socialization can manifest themselves. First, the problem of loneliness in society has been identified by healthcare specialists, including the United States Surgeon General, as a serious health concern. Loneliness in the elderly population cannot be attributed solely to feelings of sadness and depression. Rather, chronic loneliness is associated with elevated levels of cortisol, a hormone often released during times of stress. Additionally, it negatively impacts the efficiency of the immune system. Although loneliness cannot be considered a direct cause of illness, like viruses, it does serve as an additional risk factor for various health problems.
When you reach your eighties, chances are high that your social network will shrink due to the loss of friends and peers. As such, the importance of forming and maintaining quality relationships becomes more pronounced. Whether it is playing cards every week, talking to a brother on the phone, or even exchanging pleasantries with neighbors, “micro-relationships” help maintain cognitive clarity and emotional resilience.
